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An open letter to Jennie Chancey from the Devil
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by
Dr Ransom
at
01:01 PM ET
,
Thursday, Mar 12, 2009
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| Tags: Columns, Deep Doctrine Magic: Biblical Theology, Cross Firings, Legalism | ||
(Note: for best results, read in the voice of Heath Ledger’s The Joker, from The Dark Knight.) TO: Jennie Chancey, “Ladies Against Feminism” web-site FROM: The Devil SUBJ.: “Don’t Believe Everything You Read…”, posted March 4 Hi. Bilious greetings. From roaming to and fro on the Earth, and going back and forth in it, I have come across your recent article about avoiding internet “gossip.” In the article, you quote from a Crosswalk website column “about the proliferation of ‘attack’ sites on the Internet that target individual Christians and ministries.” The columnist says that the internet is leading to way too much misinformation about other Christians’ beliefs. These “so-called ‘Christians’” are turning cult-like, a “Cult of Online Discernment Ministries,” he says. And real Christians need to be careful about what they read. So after that, you offer your own personal thoughts. After all, as you said, you have yourself “been on the receiving end of some of the most laughable misinformation campaigns.” People out there — they haven’t been very nice to you, have they? They’ve been disagreeing with your views. Oh yes, you’ll find many disagreeing views on the internet. So what’s your response? “Publicly airing disagreements online or off is not only unbiblical, it is just plain crass and rude,” you wrote. “Far better to pursue private communication and reconciliation, which is the true way to purify and unify the Church.” Then you go on to suggest people quit trolling around the internet to find the latest gossip. I’m guessing that means gossip about you and the other ladies who oppose feminism and support “patriarchy,” with women knowing their proper place according to the un-Holy Bible. And you write about that on the “Ladies Against Feminism” site. On that site, women try to encourage other women to be “keepers at home” and obedient to their husbands. I know you want husbands to lead your families, so much so that a daughter is considered her father’s “help-meet” until he gives her away. Your writers also discourage daughters from leaving home to attend college. You encourage them to be part of their father’s goals for not only himself, but the family. And you uphold the ideas of the vile “Vision Forum” organization (oh, I hate to name it here) that wants to spread the notion of true Christian families bringing forth God’s kingdom on Earth with the authority roles of fathers and men. Anything can be a cultMrs. Chancey, you know I don’t like you very much. And I don’t like very much the “Vision Forum” organization and all its strong male leaders who want to return to that un-Holy Bible’s direct prescription for patriarchal families. It’s for that reason that all these online ministries have been set against you. They don’t want you to succeed. I don’t, either. I can’t stand that father-rule idea. It’s been causing more trouble for my army of evil than the creationists, the Calvinists, Dave Hunt, Jack Chick, the Navigators, and the late Jerry Falwell combined. So I’m writing today to tell you — stop repeating this. It’s damaging the cause of Hell, and really, really sticking in my personal craw. We can’t advance the kingdom of darkness in this world with Christians calling out and attacking other Christians for being cultic, because they are also calling out and attacking other Christians for being cultic. It just won’t do. Understand? Whenever people begin to realize that really anything, anywhere, can be called a “cult” — well, that is when the legions of Hell and I really begin to lose ground. Whether a cult has un-Biblical beliefs, a centralized leadership, its own literature, jargon, and pious followers, doesn’t matter. In actuality, anything can be called a “cult.” And I do not want more of my worst enemies like you to figure that out. That is why I am so angry with you, Mrs. Chancey, so angry that I just grind my hooves together in rage. Those crazy ideas people haveThen comes the part in your column where you start to rebut all the crazy ideas people out there have been getting about you. Whose fault is that? Well, it might be all those cultic so-called Christians people have been reading. So they get all these notions in their heads. But I see you’ve been careful about addressing those, with careful choices of wording so that people won’t see your real and Biblical views. “I am frankly amazed when someone writes me to ask if I believe women shouldn't receive any education beyond high school (ridiculous),” you say. Well, I want to point out to you and all your real-Christian readers that this is really going to harm my wicked works. Why? Because the truth is that you’re not just saying women shouldn’t receive any education after high school. What you actually say is women shouldn’t go to secular schools to receive more education. Where they’re supposed to learn is at home with their fathers. Like many patriarchalist people say, working outside the home is “non-normative.” But you’re too smart to say that outright, aren’t you? You thought my men and I wouldn’t catch on to your carefully worded objection. But we know your game, Mrs. Chancey. We’re onto your tricks. We know you’re really trying to keep all those lovely little young ladies safe out of my clutches, and also put my servants in the secular schools out of business. It’s not going to slide. You also won’t get another carefully worded objection past these sharp horns. You denied that you “think women should not be allowed to earn money” because “that would make me a first class hypocrite as a strong advocate of Proverbs 31-style home business efforts.” But what’s really at stake here is your patriarchalist idea that women shouldn’t earn money anywhere else besides a home business. In your views, even before a woman gets married to some guy, her place is at home, with her father. If she earns money at all, it should be a home-based business. So now — if you’re going to do that, how else am I supposed to reel in these women, with the lies of feminism and promises of power in the corporate world? Finally, you said that there’s no way you “believe women should be seen and not heard.” I noticed you left out the part that would have really put me off — something like “seen and not heard in church.” See — that’s where I get really, really steamed. Because if there’s one thing I can’t stand in churches, it’s women who can’t keep quiet. All the best theologians know that the Apostle Paul addressed this and said women should keep silent all the time in church, and that this had nothing to do with specific problems or cultural considerations. If women did keep silent in church, that would fix a lot of things for patriarchy, wouldn’t it? But it won’t make things very easy for me, and my plan for domination specifically through feminism. That’s why I’m going to keep the ladies blabbing or questioning patriarchal teachings in church as much as I can. Your little evasion here in your article is not helping us. Knock it off, or I’ll see about having your daughters never get married to any husbands of their own or something, and instead stay home with their fathers the rest of their lives. Keeping away from criticism“Publicly airing disagreements online or off is not only unbiblical, it is just plain crass and rude,” you wrote. “For those who do run ministries, write for magazines, produce books, etc., my top recommendation is to ignore the blogosphere of gossip,” you say later. Now that makes me smile to myself, and I’m tempted to encourage you to keep at it. After all, normally I just love double standards. And if people are ignoring the blogosphere and all those ministries and books, they just might also ignore your own web-site and books and ministry. That way my causes of feminism and breaking up large Christian families could keep going, without you people fighting it every step of the way. But I know you really mean to ignore only the ministries and magazines and books that oppose the genuine Christianity you believe — the kind that has fathers acting as “federal representatives” of their families just like the un-Holy Bible says over and over. I can see your little game working again. And if you keep ignoring all the criticism from people, because it’s all gossipy and divisive, how am I supposed to get through to you patriarchalists with all those cultic false Christians so I can disrupt your beliefs and drag all your daughters off to secular schools to burn their bras, shack up with men, get pregnant and have abortions? Then later you say, “After dipping one toe in two years ago just to see what was being said about LAF, I've never gone back. If someone really wants to confront you in a pure and honest way, he will make the effort to write you or call you.” Now, I know you haven’t already tried very hard yourself to keep your own disagreements off the internet. I’ll bet you also haven’t tried to write or call these people like you said either — the people who’ve been saying all these slanderous things about you. This really gripes my gizzard. That’s because you’re following the un-Holy Bible’s commands to ignore views that don’t quite match up with your own and stay focused on your own genuine Christianity. You’re also following the very clear commands to deal with public false teaching in private, just like the Apostle Paul did with the Apostle Peter in Galatians 2! I could just spit sulfur over that one. What I really want is for you and all your men at home and especially your sons and daughters to do is get out there and mix it up with all the cultic critics. That way, I can get through to some of you, blind you to the “federal vision” that the un-Holy Bible clearly shows you should have, and hold back the revival that would otherwise break out across the country. Fighting the real ChristianityIf there’s anything I can’t stand, it’s people who’ve found the real kind of Christianity — the kind that knows the belief of Him dying on the cross for sinners and giving them Grace (how that word boils my blood!) isn’t enough. Instead you’re learned that the way to be especially spiritual Christians and take back the Church is to oppose feminism above all other problems, and put fathers in charge of families, and make sure the wives are the ones to help put them in charge and keep them in charge so that everything will be all safe and sound. So don’t be surprised when I have all those cultic internet websites and discernment ministries come after you to get you. A lot of them are trying to uphold the old order of things, the order I want to make people believe — my notion of Grace through faith alone and unity behind that. So Mrs. Chancey, I know you may not like me very much. You may not trust me either, because I’m the Devil. But as a friend, I am warning you, do not keep standing against me and my dark legions of wickedness. You cannot resist. And when I win this war, I will finally ensnare your daughters, keep them deceived and unmarried, and make sure your men are always focused on themselves and their “federal representative” roles. But that will happen only when all your genuine Christianity is swept aside in favor of all my luscious lies about “Biblical balance,” and “Christian freedom” and “servant leadership” and “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” and “no mediator between God and man except Christ.” You have been warned. Warmest regards, The Devil 
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