Un-twue Wuv

Perpetrator became upset with the victim when the victim told the perpetrator he was not ready to get married right now. Perpetrator left the scene and took off walking and fell in a ditch scratching her back up.

I checked, but the report didn’t say if alcohol was a factor. How else, though, would one “take off walking” or just arbitrarily fall in a ditch?

Eye-rolling role reversal

08/23/2007 at 2110 hours this officer was en route to the area of [road] and the [Name of] Parkway to assist Detective [Name]. [. . .] I was in the passing lane and passed several vehicles. I passed a red SUV traveling eastbound as well. As I passed the SUV be began to flash lights at me. I kept going for a short distance and he kept flashing his lights at me. I then slowed down as he continued to flash them.

I then slowed down and pulled beside him. I rolled down my window and yelled to him “are you okay?” He then began to yell out his window something to the effect of “slow down!!” He was also shaking his fist and cursing at me.

I then made the decision to slow down and get behind him and pull him over. I made a determination that the subject must be under the influence or was possibly mentally ill.

[. . . After the chase, in which the SUV driver fled or evaded police by car . . .]

Myself along with the two Airport officers boxed in the offender and forced him onto the shoulder. He stopped his vehicle and I exited my patrol car. An Airport officer and myself ordered the offender out of the car at gunpoint. He reluctantly exited the vehicle and after some commands he layed [sic] down on the ground. He was yelling at the Airport officer to arrest me.

To me, anyway, it is among the height of stupidities and arrogances to act as though you've caught someone in an authority position doing something wrong when nothing of the sort has occurred. It's almost more obnoxious than spam emails, whose writers — either humanoid or software — actually seem to think that anyone cares anything about the message's insipid contents.

Yes, alcohol was a factor in the weird driver's behavior, of course. Yet he also apparently said later that he had a “general distaste” for police officers altogether.

Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

-- “Chuck Norris Facts”

Perhaps that explains this?

About two days ago I saw this item in a Christian book catalog and was slightly stunned. After all, hardback copies of the first book in this series were once available by the dozens on the shelves at the Christian bookstore where I used to work, at about $24.95 apiece. After less-than-lackluster sales, the store finally shipped many of them back to the publisher as dead weight and sometime later received paperback reprints at about $10 apiece, which gained similar non-blockbuster status.

Perhaps the credits on the front, strongly implying the book was actually written by CHUCK NORRIS (!!!) but may actually be the combined products of the three-man committee whose members' names follow, had something to do with this?

Surely, Chuck Norris may be able to beat everyone at the computer game “Oregon Trail,” change the law of physics, bench-press the Earth, etc., but no one has time to do all that and become a real professional novelist.

Yet the mere strength of the name seems enough to warrant a sequel — albeit a $10 paperback first print — even to a first book that only got 10 reviews on Amazon, some negative, and the others positive mostly only because this was a Clean Old West Novel (as if no Christian writer ever thought of that idea before).

The publishing industry is indeed strange; the Christian publishing industry, even stranger.

Disclaimer: I realize that, especially as I have not actually read the book, I am supposedly risking horrible deaths by roundhouse kicks and possibly subsequent cannibalism by the inimitable Chuck Norris.

However, in my defense, I must reluctantly cite the karate fighter/actor's columns at the uberconservative WorldNetDaily cyber-newspaper — especially this one — as proof that the man is actually a rather gentle, overall harmless soul; and aside from the apparently poor forays into fiction “authoring,” thus far I have much admiration for his accomplishments and Christian faith.)

07/29/2007 @ 1750 the victim came into the Police Department. She was very manic and talking very rapidly. At one point during the conversation she told me that she had been raped years ago. However, she said at the time of the rape she was actually Ronald Reagan. She further stated that Lyndon B. Johnson was driving the car she was being raped in.

I then called Comprehensive Care [. . .]

[The suspect, at the detention center,] then sat down to take off his boots. He then began to refuse to take off his socks. I, along with jail staff, ordered him to do so many times. I then removed my Taser again as he was beginning to get unruly and combative. We then ordered him several more times to remove his socks. He then said something to the effect of “[Naughty word] it, I think I can take you!!” He then stood and lunged toward me with balled fists. He placed me in fear of imminent injury. I then deployed my Taser on him and ordered him to comply. He fell to the ground and then began to cooperate somewhat.

Read the column's remainder at Speculative Faith ...